"In the deep and private corridors of your heart, there is a room. It's called the Appreciation Room. It's where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse. On the walls are written kind words or phrases describing the good attributes of your mate.
But you may have found that you don't visit this special room as often as you once did.
Down another darker corridor of your heart lies the Depreciation Room, and unfortunately you visit there as well. On it's walls are written the things that bother and irritate you about your spouse. It's where ammunition is kept for the next big fight and bitterness is allowed to spread like a disease. People fall out of love here.
But know this. Spending time in the Depreciation Room kills marriages. The more time you spend in this place, the more your heart devalues your spouse. You may say, 'But these things are true!' Yes, but so are the things in the Appreciation Room. Everyone fails and has areas that need growth.This is a sad aspect of being human. But we have this unfortunate tendency to downplay our own negative attributes while putting our partner's failures under a magnifying glass.
Love knows about the Depreciation Room and does not live in denial that it exists. But love chooses not to live there. You must decide to stop running to this room and lingering there after every frustrating event in your relationship. It does you no good and drains the joy out of your marriage.
Love choose to believe the best about people. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive. It's time to start thinking differently. It's time to let love lead your thoughts and your focus. The only reason you should glance in the door of the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your spouse...to write 'COVERED IN LOVE' in huge letters across the walls. It's time move into the Appreciation Room, to settle down and make it your home. As you choose to meditate on the positives, you will learn that many more wonderful character qualities could be written across these walls. But the choice to explore them starts with a decision by you.You must develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate. This is a crucial step as you learn to lead your heart to truly love your spouse. It is a decision that you make, whether they deserve it or not."
Today's Dare
Get 2 sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having that characteristic.~~ I have to admit, the negative list was easier to make. Of course, if it wasn't there is a good chance that I wouldn't need to be doing The Love Dare book right now.The funny thing is, one attribute contradicted the other. For instance, I love that my husband in a Hard Working Man but I hate that I feel he always puts work first. It makes sense in a way though, Right? Well, honestly, I can see how unfair this is to him. I think we just need to come to a happy compromise on some of these things.
Today, I thanked him for still finding me attractive and not chiming in with complaints. He said " Who screwed up this time and made me look good!" Glad he can find light of the situation. I just told him that I realized how my insecurities about my changing body have never once came from him, and with all the opportunities that he has had to start criticizing with me, no matter what he has always looked at me like I was beautiful. It makes me feel great, and I think that is what drives me to be a healthier, more fit me...I want to look exactly like what his mind thinks of when it hears my voice.
*Also, I found it quite Ironic that this day's dare talks about finding other positive qualities about your spouse and I happen to hear for the very first time Blake Shelton's song "Who Are You When I'm Not Looking"
So if you haven't heard it, here is the video from Youtube.
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