" If someone were to ask you, 'Why do you love your wife?' or 'Why do you love your husband?' --what would you say?
Most men mention their wife's beauty, her sense of humore, her kindness, her inner strength. They might talk about her cooking, her knack for decorating, or what a good mother she is.
Women would probably say something about their husband's good looks or his personality. They'd commend him for his steadiness and consistent character. They'd say they love him because he's always there for them. He's generous. He's helpful.
But what if over the course of years, your wife or husband stopped being every one of these things. Would you still love them? Based on your answers above, the only logical response would be 'no'. If your reasons for loving your spouse all have something to do with his or her qualities-and then those same qualities suddenly or gradually disappear-your basis for love is over.
The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional.
The Bible refers to this kind of love by using the Greek word agape(pronounced uh-GOP-ay). It differs from the other types of love, which are- phileo(friendship) and eros(sexual love). Both friendship and sex have an important place in marriage, of course, and are definitely part of the house you build together as husband and wife. But if your marriage totally depends on having common interests or enjoying a healthy sex life, then the foundation of your relationship is unstable.
Phileo and eros are more responsive in nature and can fluctuate based upon feelings. Agape love, on the other hand, is selfless an unconditional. So unless this kind of love forms the foundation of your marriage, the wear and tear of time will destroy it.
If a man says to his wife,'I have fallen out of love with you,' he is actually saying,'I never loved you unconditionally to begin with.' That's the result of building marriage on phileo or eros love. There must be a stronger foundation than mere friendship or sexual attraction.
That's not to say, though, that love which began for the wrong reasons cannot be restored and redeemed. In fact,when you rebuild you marriage with agape as its foundation, then the friendship and romantic aspects of your love become more endearing than ever before. When your enjoyment of each other as best friends and lovers is based on unwavering commitment, you will experience an intimacy that cannot be achieved any other way."
Today's Dare
Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse-something that proves
(to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice
and nothing else.Wash her car.
Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry.
Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.
So, I had to put this dare off. It gets really hard to do certain tasks to prove your love when your husband is in another state. So, I decided to wait until he came home, which happened to be 2 days later.
It was the same day of our daughter's school festival and she had been trying hard all week to prove that her behavior deserved a night at the festival. I was working on dinner and the kids were playing when he called and said that we should go ahead without him, because by the time he got in the festival would have been halfway over and he stilled would have to get around. He said that by the time all was said and done we might end up missing the festival altogether if we waited on him.
Now, I have to say, what I chose to do isn't exactly something uncommon. I used to do all these things before, but as the kids got older, I had less time to focus on him. In saying that, what I chose to do was to do everything I could to make the processes faster for him. I knew he did not want to miss out on this experience with the kids, and I also knew how heartbroken they would be if Daddy wasn't there.
I asked him, " If I can make it as fast as possible, would you still go? " and ofcourse he said "yes".
So, I went to work laying out his clothes, getting the table set, getting the kids clothes ready,myself ready and dinner on the table. So by the time he walked in the door, we were sitting down at the table, plates were made and we were waiting on him. I made sure to get done eating before him so that I could get the shower started, when he got done he jumped in the shower and got dressed and we were ready for him when he got done. We ended up getting almost an hour to play at the festival and after-wards we went to visit his family, because that is what he wanted to do. And honestly,giving up my first night with my husband in a while to relatives..well if that doesn't say Unconditional Love, I don't know what does!!
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